Firstly, let me admit, I don’t actually know who Jim Halpert is. I discovered this quote on Pinterest, The Land of Discovering Everything. And it stuck in my mind because things have been getting serious with my boyfriend of not quite a year. (Holy cow that is coming up soon.. I probably need to go find him a gift!!) But things keep getting serious, and in between these moments of pure I-Never-Want-to-Leave-Your-Arms-Happiness there are niggling doubts that keep appearing.
Let me share them with you, because perhaps by expressing them in writing I can learn to, as Jim suggests, forget about the logic and fear and doubt, and let go. Take the jump…
Niggling Doubt #1: I can share any real information with him. I can tell him anything about my day, and the future, and the past, but if I try to spark a creative topic, something that cannot be easily applicable to his life, he tunes me out. He just stares at me like I’m speaking a foreign language. And to his very man-logical self, I sure am speaking a foreign language. This is something that I am struggling with adjusting to. All of my best friends and I have these long fanciful conversations. My roommate and I in college would chat about these crazy ideas after we turned out the lights before our dreams overtook us. I cherish these conversations, as they are the way my brain processes everything. As I drift off to sleep, fanciful ideas and concepts are my only thoughts. My father does not think this way, but my mother does. So clearly that relationship can work… But it’s hard to think of him as my best friend when he won’t/can’t have the conversations my best friends and I have always had.
Niggling Doubt #2: Does he have to be my best friend? Can’t he just be ONE of my friends? Can’t he just be my boy + friend?
Niggling Doubt #3: I am very messy. This irritates him constantly. He says he can live with it and that I’m getting better, but is that fair to him?
Niggling Doubt #4: Back to #1, we’ve never had a strong conversation about faith, either. I have been with him to church, he’s even recently suggested God sent me to him… but without a God conversation, is our relationship really built on His ground?
Niggling Doubt #5: I have to bribe and pull teeth and beat him in to submission to get him to watch a movie I’ve picked out. And 99 times out of 100 he still doesn’t make it through it because “they’re not interesting”
Niggling Doubt #6: We have overlapping music tastes, but if I pick the music it is bad and not anything good.
Niggling Doubt #7: I keep feeling as though I do a lot of things to irritate him, but because I sometimes have an overly explosive/semi-dramatic way of handling things he can’t express them. I fear I’ve ruined our open communications by being childish. But clearly he’s still in for the long-haul, as he’s stuck around.
Niggling Doubt #8: We’re too much alike sometimes. We both struggle with not getting our way, which sounds so childish when I say it like that. I want to be the person that drops it, because I know it won’t matter in the long-run, but then I just feel like I’m being run over, so I have to dig my heels in exceptionally.
Niggling Doubt #9: The fact that I have 8 other doubts.
According to Jim, I should take a big breath and forget about logic and reason, forget the fear that these matter too much.
But I struggle sometimes with forgetting fear..
Any words of advice? Things you’ve found in your relationships? Things you know are a problem, and things you know that when I’m 40 I’ll laugh at worrying at?